Musing...

My (Elizabeth) various online pregnancy forums tell me that I'm in my 20th week of pregnancy...its hard to believe that we're halfway to the day when Cliff and I will officially be parents.  20 more weeks of doctors appointments and nursery decorating and baby shopping and then its real.  We'll have a bouncing baby boy and they will let us go home with him without supervision.  He'll need to be fed and clothed and loved and taught and we'll be the ones responsible for it all (though of course grandparents will be there when we need them).

I don't think I've ever felt more "Grown-Up" in my whole dang life.  It's one thing to go to college and be preparing for your future career.  It's one thing to get married and commit your life to another (adult) person.  It's one thing to buy a house and a car for the first time, budgeting responsibly so you don't end up on a "Free Credit Report.Com" commercial.  It's one thing to be working your first full time job and buying health insurance and life insurance.  Its a WHOLE OTHER EXPERIENCE to be making another human being that will be totally dependent upon you to live.  Our boy will really be OURS.  Not our friend's kids that we can hand back.  Not our nieces or nephews who really belong to other family.  OURS.  Totally, irrevocably ours.

Right now our baby boy is nestled safely under my heart, fed by my body automatically, sleeping, and waking in a totally protected environment.  Right now he goes everywhere I do, and it doesn't take diaper bags and strollers and baby-slings to get him there.  Right now I can coo over cute clothing and tiny shoes and stock up on diapers and sleep through the night without interruption.  Right now is still "20 weeks until"...but right now, I'm also starting to peek into the wild wilderness of parenthood and it looks like it will be an adventure.

At least I married a man who loves adventure.