6 months ago

Gareth is 6 months old now.  He's got two teeth, he grins like a fool at EVERYONE, he barrel-rolls everywhere and has wicked sharp nails that I can't seem to keep cut short enough.  He's a joy as you can tell from this picture:

No, he still doesn't sleep through the night.  We're good if he's only up once during the night - that seems like a delicious treat.  And no, I'm not a stay-at-home mom.  I still work full time as a Minister at my church and Gareth attends the daycare that is - no joke - right down the hall from me.  So, I'm still nursing full time (which is awesome) though we have started baby food.  I'm not sure Gareth is a big fan of sweet potatoes, but then again, neither am I.  I think Cliff and I have found a good balance (so far) and we're enjoying our son lots.

But that's not the reason for this post.

I realized the other day that I'd never posted a blog about the day that Gareth was born.  In thinking about that, I realized that, for me, the story of his birth is irreversibly tied up with the story of his surgery and hospital stay.  I still don't like talking about the time in the NICU, but I think now I'm in a place where I can at least talk (or write) about his birth.  So....here goes.

Gareth was due on April 30th and I was just bound and determined for him to come on time.  I planned church activities up through the Wednesday before his due date, just sure that he would respect the schedule that I'd given him.  So when I woke up the morning of the 19th, I wasn't worried.   Cliff was getting up for work (much earlier than I have to) and I was groggily listening to him get ready when I felt something...different.  (If you didn't know, pregnancy is a very graphic experience where you lose lots of bodily control that you used to have, so this next part will be kind of surprising to you if you've never had a child)

"Did I just pee a little bit?" I thought to myself.  It hadn't happened before, but I wasn't shocked if it had.  I got up and went to the bathroom, but I didn't have to "go."  So I went back to bed.  And then it happened again.  "That can't be pee"  I thought.  "So what is it......oh my.....did my water break?"   I laid in bed with a stricken look on my face and Cliff noticed.

"What's wrong?"

"........I think my water broke."

"Really?!"

"Well....at least a little.  But I'm not having contractions.  So I may have just peed.  Which is gross."

We decided then that Cliff would go to work, I would get our hospital bags ready and I would wait and see if contractions started.  He left me his IPOD which had newly downloaded contraction tracker applications on it.    So of course, the first thing I did was take a shower.  If today was going to be the day, I was sure going to be starting it off clean.  As I showered I felt cramps start and I just knew that they were contractions.  They hurt - but not too bad.  So after showering and getting dressed and then crying for a bit (HOLY CRAP I'M ABOUT TO HAVE A BABY), I packed our bags.  And timed my contractions.  Which were, no joke, between 2 & 3 minutes apart and 45 seconds long.  ALREADY.  Everything I'd read and watched had prepared me for a long labor and for irregular contractions.  But that wasn't my game - my contractions were fast and regular from the get-go.

I called my doctor while I winced through contractions.  My OB told me to get to the hospital.  So I called Cliff and said "It's time."  He raced home, packed us into the car and started the drive to the hospital.  My contractions were still manageable but they weren't fun, so I mostly just focused on breathing while we drove to Hillcrest.  Cliff dropped me off at intake and I managed to walk on my own from registration to a preliminary intake room.  Cliff told me afterwards that a man in the registration area was surprised to find out I was in labor because I was so calm.  Luckily he didn't see me later....

Cliff wasn't allowed in the back room until I'd answered some questions that HIPPA deemed "private" and in the meantime my contractions got worse and worse, quickly peaking to the point where I thought - "WHERE'S MY DRUGS!"  My doctor came in and checked me and said "Today's the day."   That was about 8:30am.

They wheeled me into a delivery room and Cliff finally joined the party.  He called our parents to let them know the party had started and then came into the room to wait it out with me.  My boss (and pastor) Jack was in the waiting room (we'd called him on the way) and wanted to know if I was up for a visit.  By this point, I'd lost my ability to talk because the pain was SO TERRIBLE.  Even breathing regularly was a chore.  So I squeaked out a "NO! NO! NO!" My IV was finally in and I was getting fluids, but I couldn't get an Epidural until my fluids had all gone in.  Quick note to the interested: you have absolutely NO sense of time when you're in pain.

Here's the part of the story where Cliff was my hero.  He was absolutely, entirely, completely CALM.  100% zen.  Whereas I had turned into a writhing, gasping, speechless mess, Cliff transformed into a stalwart rock of comfort and strength.  He taught me how to breathe again, he helped me focus through the contractions, he kept me still when I FINALLY got my epidural....he was amazing.  I almost broke his thumb and his collarbone, but he never even got irritated.  He just moved my hand and kept helping me through it.  Finally, several hours later and after my epidural was in ....probably about 11:45, the OB checked me again.

"Guess" he said.  He was cheerful.

"I don't know....6 or 7?"  I was not cheerful.

"Nope! You're complete!"  He grinned

"WHAT?! ALREADY?"  I gaped.  I'm not sure what Cliff did.

"Yup.  We'll have this baby within the hour. "

So Cliff called my mom, who was on her way, and his mom, who was close to being there, and let them know that Gareth was going to make an appearance soon.  Both sets of parents were shocked...and so were Cliff and I.  No one expects a first baby to be a fast delivery.  And then...the moment arrived.  I started to push.

My epidural was in, but I had a hot spot - meaning I could still feel everything on my lower left side.  That hurt, but it helped me know when to push.  So I pushed...and then Cliff's mom came into the room and we hurried her onto the other side.  And she called my mother and got her on the phone so she could hear "the moment".  And I pushed maybe 4 or 5 times.  And then Gareth was there at 12:20 on April 19th.  And my mom heard his first cry, and I cried when I held him and Cliff just looked on shocked.  And they weighed him and measured and all of sudden...

We had a baby.  We were parents.

From beginning to end, my labor was only 5 hours long.  My OB called it a "dream delivery".  And that was the last day I saw my house until May 8th...

But that's another story.

The 2 Month Report

Gareth is now 2 months old.  He had his 2 month appointment at the pediatrician's office and we got all of his most current stats.  As of today he is:

13lbs exactly (80 percentile)
24in long (80 percentile)
And has a 16.5in diameter head (80 percentile)

Dr. Kemper said that he has big hands and feet and that he might be a big boy one day.  That would be very surprising!

Then, of course, Gareth had to get his 2 month old vaccinations.  Which turned out to be 5 SHOTS.  5!  Thankfully, Cliff was with me and he dealt with all the needle business.  And true to form, Gareth cried for maybe 1 second after each shot and then smiled like nothing had happened to him.  I still cried, of course.

Here is our precious baby boy:

We're so thankful to have a healthy and happy baby boy.  2 months down, a million wonderful days to go!

Another Update: Good News

We're being released from the hospital today (May 8th)! PRAISE GOD!

Gareth approves this message.

Waiting, Wishing, Wanting...

Since my last update:

On April 28th, Gareth had his "dye-test" to see if he had any leaks in his esophagus.  Unfortunately, he did.  So the surgeon ordered another test for this Wednesday, May 5th.  So Gareth is still recieving all of his feeds through his NG tube, he still has the chest tube in, and still has a "Central Line" IV Port in his chest.  Otherwise, he is perfectly healthy.  Oh...and we're getting to hold him now.  Thank GOD.  It was hard enough having to be hospitalized, but not being able to hold him for a week? That was hellish.

Everyday a gaggle of nurses, doctors and surgeons go room by room in the NICU discussing each of the patients.  This is called "rounds."  At first, Cliff and I would always participate, asking pertinent questions and listening to Gareth's stats.  But now...well now we already know what will be said.  It goes something like this...

"Gareth...these are his stats (blah blah numbers blah blah numbers), he's gained weight, he is recieving full feeds, and we're waiting for the esophagram on Wednesday."

Seriously, it's the same everyday.  He wouldn't even be in the NICU if he didn't have this chest tube in.  We're all just waiting for the results of his next test.  Oh...well...there is something else.  Gareth has acid reflux.  Poor guy.  But he's on Prevacid, and that makes a world of difference for him.

Right now, I'm (Elizabeth) up at the hospital by myself.  Cliff had to go back to work today so he drove back to Waco last night (May 2nd).  It's lonley, but hopefully it won't be for very long. 

If you're the praying type, here's how you could pray for us:
1) Pray that Gareth's leak is totally and completly healed.  This is the last hurdle we have to jump before we can head back to Waco.
2) Pray that Gareth's acid reflux would not adversly affect the leak in his esophagus, and that it would subside.  He gets pretty uncomfortable, even with the prevacid.
3) Pray that Cliff and I remain patient and strong despite our separation and frustration with not being home with our son

Hopefully I can update on Wednesday with better news.  Thanks to all of you for continuing to lift up our family.

Update: Gareth

Our son was born on April 19th at 12:22pm at Hillcrest in Waco, TX.

By the next evening, he took his first flight on the Medical Transport jet to Children's Hospital in Dallas, TX.

Yesterday he was prodded, poked, and prepped for surgery.

Today at 8:30am he will go into surgery to repair a Tracheal Fistula and an Esophageal Atresia.

This is not what I imagined when I dreamed about having my first child.

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Here's how you can pray for us:

1) Please pray that the surgeons experience complete success tomorrow morning.  This would mean that they repair the fistula and discover enough esophageal tissue to connect the esophagus and Gareth's stomach.  If they do, his time in the NICU will be much reduced.  If they do not, he will spend a much longer time in the NICU.

2) Please pray that Cliff and I would be continually reminded of God's love and comfort during this crappy time

3) Please pray that Gareth would heal quickly, that his pain levels would be minimal, that he would come off of the intubation in record time, that he will be able to go home sooner rather than later. 

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I won't be posting pictures of him in the hospital.  I just can't bear to commemorate this moment in any way.  I do not want to remember my baby with tubes and wires running off of him.  I do not want to share the painful presence of oxygen machines and antibiotic IV's.  I wish that I was changing his diapers and worrying over his circumcision scar and taking care of his belly button instead of watching professionals do so for me.  It is my prayer that you will never, ever have to know what this scene looks like.