Things to Come

A remarkable event happened this week - NASA & JPL managed to get the Curiosity mobile laboratory to Mars without any tragic mechanical malfunctions.  You should check out the video below and see how many things could have gone wrong and blessedly did not.

Curiosity launched on November 26th, 2011 and traveled for 8 & 1/2 months to get to Mars, a 2.5 billion dollar baby that was finally born this Monday.  Once it was launched, all NASA could do was wait and watch, hoping that everything they'd done in preparation for this HUGE event would come to fruition.  I guess that makes them Science Midwives. Sometimes, thankfully, things just go the way you expected them to.

I can't help but think of the Curiosity in terms of gestation and birth because it's journey to Mars began around the time that Cliff went to jail.  And what many of you don't know is that Cliff's incarceration was not the plan for our family in late November; we had, in fact, decided to start trying to have another baby after Cliff's trial was over.  

I was expecting to be pregnant in August of 2012.  I was expecting to be preparing another nursery with another crib.  I was expecting to be preparing Gareth to be a big brother.  I was expecting to be preparing for another speedy labor and delivery, for another early arrival of another precious child.  I was expecting my own precious Curiosity to make a safe arrival in this world, though admittedly without strangers watching the event on live-stream.  But obviously, I'm not pregnant.  There will be no baby, no new nursery and crib, no labor and delivery.  Instead I am helping Gareth along the road to being potty-trained, navigating life as a single mother and pastor, making a monthly visit to a Texas prison to see my husband.  Surely my life is curious, but the life that has been born this August was not the birth I was expecting.

Unlike the journey of Curiosity, my own journey has been fraught with disaster and course adjustments.  And admittedly, this new life (post-conviction) is still gestating, my future an unknown quantity. The landscape is alien and sometimes forbidding, and sometimes it feels as lonely as Curiosity's own new life might be on the Martian landscape.  I just keep rolling ahead, though, because what else is there to do?  Stop and break down? Run backwards in an attempt to wrest from the past the future I thought I would inhabit? No - there is only the horizon in front of me and the opportunities to see more than I have seen, to be amazed by something new, to look forward to something unknown and unplanned for.

I'm trying to stop dwelling on the life I've lost - instead of mourning the baby I'm not carrying, I'm trying to celebrate the "Baby" that has been born on the surface of Mars.  But it is difficult to not be swallowed and smothered by the what-ifs, the alternate universes that I could of inhabited.  I'm trying to remember the wonder and boundless nature of the universe I already live in.

Congratulations Curiosity.  May your journey be one of discovery and not disaster.  

May it be so for all of us.

6 months ago

Gareth is 6 months old now.  He's got two teeth, he grins like a fool at EVERYONE, he barrel-rolls everywhere and has wicked sharp nails that I can't seem to keep cut short enough.  He's a joy as you can tell from this picture:

No, he still doesn't sleep through the night.  We're good if he's only up once during the night - that seems like a delicious treat.  And no, I'm not a stay-at-home mom.  I still work full time as a Minister at my church and Gareth attends the daycare that is - no joke - right down the hall from me.  So, I'm still nursing full time (which is awesome) though we have started baby food.  I'm not sure Gareth is a big fan of sweet potatoes, but then again, neither am I.  I think Cliff and I have found a good balance (so far) and we're enjoying our son lots.

But that's not the reason for this post.

I realized the other day that I'd never posted a blog about the day that Gareth was born.  In thinking about that, I realized that, for me, the story of his birth is irreversibly tied up with the story of his surgery and hospital stay.  I still don't like talking about the time in the NICU, but I think now I'm in a place where I can at least talk (or write) about his birth.  So....here goes.

Gareth was due on April 30th and I was just bound and determined for him to come on time.  I planned church activities up through the Wednesday before his due date, just sure that he would respect the schedule that I'd given him.  So when I woke up the morning of the 19th, I wasn't worried.   Cliff was getting up for work (much earlier than I have to) and I was groggily listening to him get ready when I felt something...different.  (If you didn't know, pregnancy is a very graphic experience where you lose lots of bodily control that you used to have, so this next part will be kind of surprising to you if you've never had a child)

"Did I just pee a little bit?" I thought to myself.  It hadn't happened before, but I wasn't shocked if it had.  I got up and went to the bathroom, but I didn't have to "go."  So I went back to bed.  And then it happened again.  "That can't be pee"  I thought.  "So what is it......oh my.....did my water break?"   I laid in bed with a stricken look on my face and Cliff noticed.

"What's wrong?"

"........I think my water broke."

"Really?!"

"Well....at least a little.  But I'm not having contractions.  So I may have just peed.  Which is gross."

We decided then that Cliff would go to work, I would get our hospital bags ready and I would wait and see if contractions started.  He left me his IPOD which had newly downloaded contraction tracker applications on it.    So of course, the first thing I did was take a shower.  If today was going to be the day, I was sure going to be starting it off clean.  As I showered I felt cramps start and I just knew that they were contractions.  They hurt - but not too bad.  So after showering and getting dressed and then crying for a bit (HOLY CRAP I'M ABOUT TO HAVE A BABY), I packed our bags.  And timed my contractions.  Which were, no joke, between 2 & 3 minutes apart and 45 seconds long.  ALREADY.  Everything I'd read and watched had prepared me for a long labor and for irregular contractions.  But that wasn't my game - my contractions were fast and regular from the get-go.

I called my doctor while I winced through contractions.  My OB told me to get to the hospital.  So I called Cliff and said "It's time."  He raced home, packed us into the car and started the drive to the hospital.  My contractions were still manageable but they weren't fun, so I mostly just focused on breathing while we drove to Hillcrest.  Cliff dropped me off at intake and I managed to walk on my own from registration to a preliminary intake room.  Cliff told me afterwards that a man in the registration area was surprised to find out I was in labor because I was so calm.  Luckily he didn't see me later....

Cliff wasn't allowed in the back room until I'd answered some questions that HIPPA deemed "private" and in the meantime my contractions got worse and worse, quickly peaking to the point where I thought - "WHERE'S MY DRUGS!"  My doctor came in and checked me and said "Today's the day."   That was about 8:30am.

They wheeled me into a delivery room and Cliff finally joined the party.  He called our parents to let them know the party had started and then came into the room to wait it out with me.  My boss (and pastor) Jack was in the waiting room (we'd called him on the way) and wanted to know if I was up for a visit.  By this point, I'd lost my ability to talk because the pain was SO TERRIBLE.  Even breathing regularly was a chore.  So I squeaked out a "NO! NO! NO!" My IV was finally in and I was getting fluids, but I couldn't get an Epidural until my fluids had all gone in.  Quick note to the interested: you have absolutely NO sense of time when you're in pain.

Here's the part of the story where Cliff was my hero.  He was absolutely, entirely, completely CALM.  100% zen.  Whereas I had turned into a writhing, gasping, speechless mess, Cliff transformed into a stalwart rock of comfort and strength.  He taught me how to breathe again, he helped me focus through the contractions, he kept me still when I FINALLY got my epidural....he was amazing.  I almost broke his thumb and his collarbone, but he never even got irritated.  He just moved my hand and kept helping me through it.  Finally, several hours later and after my epidural was in ....probably about 11:45, the OB checked me again.

"Guess" he said.  He was cheerful.

"I don't know....6 or 7?"  I was not cheerful.

"Nope! You're complete!"  He grinned

"WHAT?! ALREADY?"  I gaped.  I'm not sure what Cliff did.

"Yup.  We'll have this baby within the hour. "

So Cliff called my mom, who was on her way, and his mom, who was close to being there, and let them know that Gareth was going to make an appearance soon.  Both sets of parents were shocked...and so were Cliff and I.  No one expects a first baby to be a fast delivery.  And then...the moment arrived.  I started to push.

My epidural was in, but I had a hot spot - meaning I could still feel everything on my lower left side.  That hurt, but it helped me know when to push.  So I pushed...and then Cliff's mom came into the room and we hurried her onto the other side.  And she called my mother and got her on the phone so she could hear "the moment".  And I pushed maybe 4 or 5 times.  And then Gareth was there at 12:20 on April 19th.  And my mom heard his first cry, and I cried when I held him and Cliff just looked on shocked.  And they weighed him and measured and all of sudden...

We had a baby.  We were parents.

From beginning to end, my labor was only 5 hours long.  My OB called it a "dream delivery".  And that was the last day I saw my house until May 8th...

But that's another story.

Introducing

Gareth Alexandre Grasham-Reeves

Born on 4/19/2010 at 12:22pm

Weight: 8lb, 2oz

Height: 20in

Yes..he was born 11 days early.

Yes, I (Elizabeth) was only in labor for four hours

And Cliff was my salvation during contractions.

I'll tell the story in more detail later.

It's April...in case you missed it

Since April began, I've (Elizabeth) participated in a Waco-Disciples Maunday Thursday service, run an Easter Egg Hunt for close to 500 people, baptized two girls (which was very cool to do pregnant), and started prepping in earnest for maternity leave.  Cause I'm almost 37 weeks pregnant and all.

Here's a pic of me from said Easter Egg Hunt:

Hey...she kind of looks like an egg!

Now we're just waiting.  We're 22 days away from Gareth's due date, attending childbirth classes and generally look straight into the gun-barrel of parenthood.  Wow.  Oh and for those of you who enjoy TMI, at my last OB appointment (4/1), I was 75% effaced, our son was already between 6 & 6 1/2 pounds and I had lost 3 pounds.  

Cliff thinks I'll go into labor early, so every time I wince when my pelvis or legs hurt he says "are you in labor? Is it contractions? Do we need to go to the hospital?"  Sometimes I know he's joking, and then there are the times when his eyes are shining in fear and I realize we are into that time period when the questions he's asking have validity.  

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BTW...please don't ever call a pregnant woman fat.  Even if they totally are.  I've gained, total, less than 30lbs, and my doctor is happy with me, and all the weight has gone to the baby, but I still get sensitive when people comment on my weight.  Just say nice things to the 9 month pregnant woman who's pelvis hurts and who's legs spasm and has to pee 100 times a day.  It costs you nothing and it keeps her from attacking people with blunt objects.  And that's a good thing.

In general, let's just make it a rule to not say tacky things to each other, okay?  If you have a bad hair cut or your clothes are mis-matched or you've gained weight, I would NEVER EVER say anything to you unless we had that kind of relationship where you liked blunt honesty.  And even then I would couch it gently and say it only in private.  So if you're ever tempted to say the following things to a pregnant woman, resist.  With every fiber of your being, resist the temptation.

THINGS TO NEVER SAY TO A PREGNANT WOMAN

1) Wow...you're bigger than last time.

2) How much weight have you gained?  Looks like a lot

3) Hey fatty!

4) You look farther along than that!

THINGS TO SAY TO A PREGNANT WOMAN INSTEAD

1) Wow...you look radiant

2) You're so tiny!

3) I'd love to babysit for free

4) Your child is going to be beautiful

You're welcome

---

So if you think about Cliff and I any time this month, throw a little prayer out there that our son is born healthy and happy, that we survive the entrance into parenthood with few scars, and that I keep from whacking people who say tacky things to me.

The Baby Shower

Wow.  Thanks to my family, my church and friends for making this event so awesome.  We got so much great stuff and we're ever so close to having the nursery finished.

On a related note, baby clothes are very small.  Hard to believe!

So, without ado, here are some pics of the baby shower on March 13th.  You'll see I'm very, very pregnant at this point. 
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My funny husband

Cliff and I (Elizabeth) had an awesome baby shower yesterday (will update pictures of that later) and we got lots of great stuff including tons of baby clothes.  I would have just hung them up, but Cliff reminded me that they all had to be washed.  ::sigh::  So, we spent some time in the nursery sorting baby clothes into laundry piles and some funny stuff came out of that time.  Specifically from Cliff.  Examples:

Cliff: Why do baby jeans have pockets?  What do they need to carry?  Look! This one has a hammer hook!
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Cliff: Man, the worst thing about owning a baby is the laundry.
Me: Did you just say 'owning' a baby?
Cliff: Yup.
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Cliff: Man, I hope that he (our son) isn't allergic to dogs.  Cause then we'd have to get rid of the baby.


I married a funny man.

At least I'm not craving dirt

I (elizabeth) remember when I was 12 weeks pregnant and I wished that my belly was bigger because at that point it seemed like I had indulged in too much pasta rather than the truth that I was in the process of growing a human.

In case you were wondering, I do not feel that way anymore.  At 30 weeks, all I can think is "I get bigger than this?"  I know, I know...I will get bigger.  And that's a good thing because the baby is gaining weight blah blah blah blah.  I feel huge, okay?  Don't tell a pregnant woman "you're only going to get bigger" and expect that you will avoid some sort of physical confrontation that ends in your visit to the ER.  You aren't clever.

More than I ever, I appreciate people who have the tact to not remind me of my impending "bigger-ness".
--
I had my 30 week OB appointment on Friday.  Confession:  I feel bad for my doctor.  I rarely have questions for him, and considering how low maintenance my pregnancy has been, I get the feeling I'm a boring pregnant woman.  My baby is growing on target, his heart rate is perfect and I've only gained 26 pounds (ONLY? YIKES! ::inwardly fighting cultural standards of beauty::).  My heart stuff has been weird, but because it's one of those "well, you're just pregnant" problems, it's still not that big of a deal.

Friday, though, something interesting came up.  I mentioned to my doctor that I have been craving and eating a lot of ice, and he said "it's probably just a mild case of pica."  To which I said, "oh right."  And thought "what?  What is pica?  it sounds like it should be from pokemon."  And then he said "at least you're not craving anything really weird.  Some pregnant women get cravings for sawdust or clay."  My face must have been hilarious.  "WHAT? Clay?!"  All I could think of at that point was some largely pregnant women digging her yard like my dog Rika does, shoveling red clay (yes I grew up in Houston) in to her mouth.  Admission: I felt and still very judgmental towards women who would try to eat clay.  I'm sorry.  But don't tell me you aren't cringing just a little.

I gathered from our conversation that "pica" is where you desire to eat things that people don't normally eat, but webmd cleared that up for me.  Pica is  "the persistent eating of substances with no nutrition, such as dirt or paint."  That is even weirder.  PAINT.   But then I laughed at the definition because of the "no nutrition" part.   Does the fact that I love girl scout cookies year round mean I have pica?  Cause those definitely have no nutritive value except deliciousness.
---
Cliff finished painting the nursery today and then put together the crib and my rocking chair.   Three cheers for Cliff! 

Here's the crib:

 

And here's the rocking chair :

 Notice the cute paint job that Cliff did in the back.  We wanted more than blue, but we didn't want a lot of brown, so stripes it was.  That took longer to tape off that he thought!

Admittedly, it is still kind of weird to walk into that room and think that I'm baking the little boy that will live there.  The boy who, as of this moment, has hiccups.  Again.  He has them a lot.  10 weeks (I hope.  Keep baking baby!) till we meet him, 10 weeks till I can actually use the baby clothes that we've already received.  10 weeks till I have to bust out the Diaper Genie.  10 more weeks before I'm a mom. 

Strange to think so much can change in so little time.

Medical Update

Happy February!
I swear it was just January 1st...right?
--
I've (Elizabeth) posted before about how my life has been largely devoid of medical issues, and how this pregnancy has had me running from doctor to doctor.  Well, I thought I'd update you all on some pressing issues.

1.  I do NOT have gestational diabetes.  ::Fist Pump::  Last week I took the 1 hour test and failed it and so had to traipse over to the lab to do the 3 hour version.  Which included fasting from food and water (what?!), having my blood taken 4 TIMES, and drinking the sweetest version of orange soda you've ever had.  Got the call this morning that I passed my test, thank goodness.

2. I do NOT have a heart arrhythmia.  After wearing a heart monitor for the last month, I had a follow up appointment at the Cardiologist's office today.  Apparently, I just have a high heart rate - like between 100 and 150 at all times.  (Note: for pregnant women, it's usually only in the 80's-90's).  Doc said he could give me medicine to slow it down, but that might adversely affect the baby, so there goes that option.  Good news, though, is that my heart rate should slow down by 32 weeks.  Which isn't much comfort seeing as how I'll have a baby 8 weeks after.  Another appointment in 6 weeks to check and see if things have calmed down.

3. My belly button is completely flat.  And actually, it's now starting to protrude.  Yeah, yeah, I know, this isn't really a medical issue, per-say, but its still weird to lose your belly button.  Mommas - back me up here!
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In other news, I'm 28 weeks now.  Officially 3rd trimester.  I guess I really AM going to have a baby soon!

26 weeks...almost 27

So, its been awhile since I posted a picture.  Here I (elizabeth) am at 26 weeks, 4 days.


Baby boy is moving regularly and now we can watch him as he wiggles in the womb.  Cliff thinks that is really weird.

Just 14 weeks ago I looked like this:


And then for Halloween, I went to our Church's Fall Festival as "the Future"


And now I'm almost done with the 2nd trimester.  It's a strange world we live in.

Another pregnant post - 24 weeks

So...

How were your holidays?

Mine were pregnant.

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It's so odd how something can suddenly consume your life.  The more pregnant I become (more pregnant? Is there a less pregnant? That can't be right...how about more visually pregnant?) the more my life changes.  Sleeping is different.   Eating is different.  Even sitting, standing and walking are different as my body makes room for this quickly growing little guy.  Future plans all have to revolve around how pregnant I will be or how young my son is at the time.  Discussions revolve around the baby - whether about how he's baking or how we'll care for him later.  And then there are my health issues...

But we'll get to those.

---

This Christmas, my family went on down to Houston to visit the "Ohio Grashams" who had finally ended their sojourn in the north to return to the great state of Texas.  It was Cliff's first introduction to many of them and I think that he was overwhelmed a little.  You'd be overwhelmed too if you suddenly had to interact with and remember the names of 18 people.  This, of course, presented a great opportunity for a "pregnant" picture with Sarina, Arwen and I.  Sarina's due on April 28th, I'm due on April 30th and Arwen's due on May 8th.  Hooray!

I didn't get the memo about wearing a black & white patterned shirt.

In Houston, I also got a chance to hold my cousin Tanya's newest baby girl, Emily Ashlyn.  She was a little over 4 weeks at this point, a tiny precious baby girl.

The best part of meeting this little one was watching my dad hold her.  My dad is a really funny guy and all while he was holding her, he would have "conversations" with her...voicing both sides.  Emily was surprisingly articulate for her age.   It was neat to see a preview of what my father will be like as a grandfather - silly, funny and sweet.

Cliff and I journeyed back to Waco but then came BACK to Garland for a Grasham Family New Year's Tradition: The New Years Movie & Costume Party!  This year the movie was "Young Frankenstein" and we all dressed like characters from the film.

Cliff and my brother Eric were Igor (say: Eye-Gore)

My mother and I were Frau Blucher ::horse whinnies::

My father was the blind monk (played by Gene Hackman.  Who knew?)

And Arwen and Paul were Inga and Dr. Frankenstein (say: FrAnk-en-steen)

Next year's movie is Beauty and the Beast.  And Yes...it will be a sing-a-long.  I know, I know...my family is way more fun than yours.  That's just how the world works....don't beat yourself up about it.

---

The week after New Years I had several doctor's appointments.

First - the Cardiologist.  Why you ask?  My heart has been...beating pretty fast lately.  Like...really fast.  Resting at over 100, usually in the 120's and right before New Years peaking at over 140.  Not great.  So my OB made me an appointment at Waco Cardiologist on the 5th (Cliff's 31st birthday).  They did another EKG on me, made an appointment for a heart ultrasound (echo-cardiogram?) the next day, and ordered me a heart monitor that I have to wear for the next month.  Whatever is going on with my ticker, they needed more data before making any decisions.

Second - the Ultrasound.  Odd to be getting an ultrasound and not seeing my baby.  My heart, though, is very interesting.  And apparently everything looked fine from that vantage, so that was a relief.

Third - the OB for my 24 week appointment.  I've finally gained some weight (I'd only gained 6 pounds from September 11th to December 4th and my Dr was starting to look at me sternly), I'm measuring exactly 24cm, all my pregnancy complaints are normal for my trimester and Baby Boy's heart rate was 144.  The doctor quipped that I was reading the baby book before I came so I would measure perfectly on everything.

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So what are we up to now?

Well...I guess all we can do now is get the nursery ready.  So of course, we haven't even started that yet.  ::shrugs shoulders:: it will get done.  Promise.  I'm having too much fun watching my belly to see our son move around.  He's a lot more active and it's nice to know he's there, even if it does freak Cliff out a little bit.

I'll post a new picture eventually....but for now, I'm off.

Any body have a great New Years?

So this is Advent...

"So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child.While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born,and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn."
Luke 2:4-7

"When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus." Matthew 1:24-25

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You know, I (Elizabeth) never really paid attention to the "Jesus being born" passages until this Advent.  I guess when you're not pregnant and considering your impending labor, you don't really care about what the Bible says about the subject.  But of course, being 21 weeks pregnant changes lots of things, including how you read the Bible.  And I was stunned to realize that the only "birth" story we get about Jesus pretty much reads "and she gave birth."  What?!  Was her labor long or short?  Was it especially hard or really easy?  Did she have women to help her or did Joseph have to take part (VERY UNLIKELY).  Did she have clothes to change into afterwards?  How much did he weigh? How long was he?  Was he fussy or content?  


So, I figured I'd look back at the other "birth stories" in the Bible and see if I could get any more details..
  

The birth of Isaac

"So Sarah conceived and bore a son to Abraham in his old age." (Genesis 21:2)

The birth of Jacob and Esau
"When her (Rebekah) days to be delivered were fulfilled, behold, there were twins in her womb.  Now the first came forth red, all over like a hairy garment; and they named him Esau.  Afterward his brother came forth with his hand holding on to Esau's heel, so his name was called Jacob." (Genesis 25:24-26)

The birth of Samuel
"It came about in due time, after Hannah had conceived, that she gave birth to a son." (1 Samuel 1:20)

The birth of Solomon
"Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and went in to her and lay with her; and she gave birth to a son, and he named him Solomon." (2 Samuel 12:24)

The birth of John
"Now the time had come for Elizabeth to give birth, and she gave birth to a son." (Luke 1:57)

::Sigh::

So...I've got nothing still.  The only thing even close to a description of labor that we have is when Jacob and Esau are born, and it sounds like it wasn't fun.  Both were apparently head down (remember, Jacob holding Esau's heel?) and came out pretty much right after each other, so it could have been worse.  


The question that remains, though, is why our narrator leaves out ANY description of the events themselves.  I know that a vivid play-by-play may have been a little much, but NO description leaves a lot to be desired.  Maybe its because, largely, the books were written by men who weren't culturally permitted to be present at the birth.  But surely the women passed along the stories of births to their daughters, and surely these women could have had their stories included!


I can't help but start to midrash the stories for myself, filling in the gaps to illuminate a bigger picture.  How must Sarah have felt, a weary old woman, to suddenly be in the throes of labor?  Were her handmaidens as surprised as she was to be in the birthing tent for her?  Or what about Rebekah?  Did the traumatic birth of twins leave her unable to have children afterwards?  When Solomon was about to be born, was Bathsheba torn between excitement for her new child and grief for the one who had died?  In the moments after he was born, did she hold him close and fear for his life?  I know that Hannah was filled with joy to even be pregnant, but during her labor for Samuel, do you think she thought, just for a second, "what did I sign up for?! This hurts!"  How about Elizabeth?  She must have thought of Sarah during her delivery, gripping the hands of her kinswomen tightly as she gave birth to her long-awaited son.  And Mary....how did Mary feel?  Away from family and friends, surrounded by livestock, she must have been surprised that she would deliver the Son of God in such inauspicious surroundings.  Who helped her deal with the painful contractions?  Who gave her water to drink?  Who caught her newborn son as he slipped out into the world?  Was she terrified and elated when smelly shepherds showed up for visiting hours?


I know, I know.  "The important thing is that these guys were born at all," you say.  And I agree...to a certain extent.  But to any woman who has given birth or who will give birth, the existence of a child and the way he/she arrived can hardly be separated.  The birth is a part of the journey.


Maybe thats why the Bible leaves the stories out.  Because without a description, we are forced to imagine, forced to speculate, forced to focus our minds and then the Holy Spirit sneaks in.  


Interesting Side Note: Did you know that the Qur'an has a description of the birth of Jesus?

"And the pains of childbirth drove her (Mary) to the trunk of a palm-tree: She cried (in her anguish): 'Ah! would that I had died before this! Would that I had been a thing forgotten and out of sight!' But (a voice) cried to her from beneath the (palm-tree): 'Grieve not! for thy Lord hath provided a rivulet beneath thee; And shake towards thyself the trunk of the palm-tree; it will let fall fresh ripe dates upon thee. So eat and drink and cool (thine) eye.'"

What do you think?  What do you think the birth of the Christ Child was like?

Musing...

My (Elizabeth) various online pregnancy forums tell me that I'm in my 20th week of pregnancy...its hard to believe that we're halfway to the day when Cliff and I will officially be parents.  20 more weeks of doctors appointments and nursery decorating and baby shopping and then its real.  We'll have a bouncing baby boy and they will let us go home with him without supervision.  He'll need to be fed and clothed and loved and taught and we'll be the ones responsible for it all (though of course grandparents will be there when we need them).

I don't think I've ever felt more "Grown-Up" in my whole dang life.  It's one thing to go to college and be preparing for your future career.  It's one thing to get married and commit your life to another (adult) person.  It's one thing to buy a house and a car for the first time, budgeting responsibly so you don't end up on a "Free Credit Report.Com" commercial.  It's one thing to be working your first full time job and buying health insurance and life insurance.  Its a WHOLE OTHER EXPERIENCE to be making another human being that will be totally dependent upon you to live.  Our boy will really be OURS.  Not our friend's kids that we can hand back.  Not our nieces or nephews who really belong to other family.  OURS.  Totally, irrevocably ours.

Right now our baby boy is nestled safely under my heart, fed by my body automatically, sleeping, and waking in a totally protected environment.  Right now he goes everywhere I do, and it doesn't take diaper bags and strollers and baby-slings to get him there.  Right now I can coo over cute clothing and tiny shoes and stock up on diapers and sleep through the night without interruption.  Right now is still "20 weeks until"...but right now, I'm also starting to peek into the wild wilderness of parenthood and it looks like it will be an adventure.

At least I married a man who loves adventure.

Announcing..

This morning, Cliff and I traveled to my OB's office for our 18/19 week ultrasound.  We were both nervous and excited to see our baby (as the last time the baby had looked more like a peanut than a person).  For the first several minutes we saw kidneys and fingers and saw botttoms of feet.  And then I said to the Tech, "Most of our friends think we're having a girl."

And he said......

"Well, they'd be wrong.  Because that is a boy."



And both Cliff and I said "REALLY?!"

So there you have it...we're having a boy.  A BOY! WOW!

A picture that made me laugh

Thank goodness that we're only having one!

New Picture

16 weeks and 3 days.

I guess there really IS a baby in there!

I live at the Doctor's Office...a.k.a I'm pregnant

Growing up, I (Elizabeth) was a moderately healthy child.  When I was sick, it was usually bad (ex: having pneumonia) but even then, not that long-lasting.  Here's an example for you - When my sister had mono, she was under the weather for around 6 weeks.  When I had mono, I was only sick enough to miss school for four days.  I eeked out that last day of the week and then regretted it later when I couldn't exempt any final exams my freshman year.

All this to say, I've never really spent that much time at the doctor's office or even thinking about my health.  That is...until I became pregnant.  Now I'm at my OB's office at least once a month, and in the coming weeks, will see him once every two weeks.  I'm more aware of my body than I HAVE EVER been, mentally cataloging all symptoms, pains and questions to bombard my doctor with.  And to top it all off, my immune system is depressed because, well, it's got other things to worry about (i.e. the new human I'm growing) than my silly body.  So right now I'm taking antibiotics for Pharyngitis (a bacterial infection of the Pharynx - thanks Kristin for explaining that to me) and considering getting a Seasonal Flu shot even though I haven't had the flu since 1998.

Ah well...soon my OB visits will end and pediatrician visits will pick up, and as my mother and grandmother say, "I wont have time to get sick."  How funny that creating new life would be so...medically involved!

Oh, and before I forget.  Had my 15 week appointment on Nov. 6th and got to hear the baby's heartbeat again.  Apparently baby-kins is already a performer and did a flip while we were listening.  I'm scheduled to go back to the OB on the 20th to do my Quad-Screening and then will have a sonogram done on December 1st when we will find out the gender of our baby!  Have a guess to what we'll be having?  Make sure to vote in the poll on our blog.

No new pictures yet, but in case you were wondering....the G-R baby is now the size of an:
AVOCADO!

A picture for you

12 weeks and 5 days (10/21/09)

Just so you know...there probably wont be another picture until 16 weeks.

Thoughtful Tuesday

It's "Thoughtful Tuesday"...but don't expect anything deep.
By the way, I put a poll on the side of the page so you can vote for what you think the sex of the G-R baby will be.  Have fun!

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Good Things About Being Pregnant:

1) Getting to tell people.  I like having good news and I love having people excited for me.

2) People tell me to eat more.  I don't need the encouragement for that, but I love not having to feel shame about getting seconds of thirds....(as long as there isn't dairy)

3) I'm expected to gain weight.  Check.

4) I have a monthly budget for buying clothes.  Oooh.

5) The baby is very portable.  No strollers, car seats or baby bags yet cause I'm the one carting her/him around!

Bad Things About Being Pregnant:

1) No energy.  Must...find...strength...to...bathe.

2) I'm hungry, but normal food makes me want to wretch.  It's really tough on Cliff that I'm not sure I'll be able to eat the dinner he has cooked until I can smell it.  I eat a LOT of cereal.

3) I'm allergic to dairy.  How is this even REMOTELY fair?

4) I've become a germ-fearing hypochondriac.  Swine flu? BACK AWAY RIGHT NOW.  Is my heart beating irregularly? HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW!  I have a cramp.  OH NO A CRAMP!

5) My pants don't fit.  I know that this is supposed to happen, but it's still and Ego-Punch when your skinny jeans are relegated to the back of the closet. And your not-skinny jeans.  And your "fat-day" jeans.  The back of my closet has become my enemy.

Adventures in Pregnancy

From all the movies and tv-shows that I've (Elizabeth) watched, I developed certain expectations about pregnancy.  Those included -
1. I will crave bizarre foods that my husband will be duty bound to find for me
2. I will eat Ice Cream every day with no consequences
3. I will be deferred to by strangers because of my growing waistline.

Well, my waistline has yet to reach monstrous proportions so I haven't been deferred to yet.  And I'm not craving anything more bizarre than lots of salt, so Cliff has yet to go on a midnight run to the grocery store.  But surely, ice cream has quickly become my constant companion...right?

Wrong.

Here's why.
Firstly, I've always been slightly lactose intolerant.  I started drinking soy milk almost exclusively about 5 years ago, so now whenever I drink milk....let's just say there's rumblin in my stomach.  I've always been able to do yogurts, cheese, ice cream, etc, but just in small amounts.

This is no longer the case.

Several weeks ago, Cliff's parents came into town to help out with curtains (his mom) and laying a laminate wood floor (his dad).  Afterwards we celebrated our great achievements by getting mexican food and Lou and I indulged in lots of queso.    Several hours later I started feeling very uncomfortable - it seemed like my throat was swelling shut.  For hours I had to forcefully breathe deeply because otherwise it seemed like I wasn't getting enough air.  I thought it was odd...but didn't know why it happened.

A couple of days after that, I reheated some of the left-over queso and had it with lunch.  And then at work  I felt my throat swelling again. I realized with horror that it was the cheese  that was the culprit.  I called into my OB's office and asked if it was possible to develop a sudden allergy during pregnancy  - like to dairy.  And much to my horror, it is.

And as time has passed, I've discovered that it's not just queso that does me in.  ANY dairy product - cheese, yogurt, sour cream, ice cream, they all cause my throat to swell and so they are ALL off limits.  EVEN CHOCOLATE IS OFF LIMITS.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

So today, in a fit of self-pity, I bought at H-E-B
1) Soy yogurt (in strawberry and peach)
2) Faux sour-cream (made with soy and tofu)
3) Faux cream cheese (made with soy and tofu)
4) Non dairy "ice cream" (made with soy)
5) Fruit popsicles
6) Chocolate Soy Milk

I just had some of the faux sour-cream and it was pretty good actually.  I'm excited to try the cream cheese and the yogurts as they are my only hope to enjoy dairy-like substances during this pregnancy.  But really, my deepest hope is that this is only temporary and that post-preganancy I'll be cavorting gleefully back in the land of cheese and ice cream.

Till then...
Don't judge me when you see me eating soy yogurt.  I'm not a vegan.  I'm just pregnant.